Settle in Love, Dont Fall


Okay, ive had this fight with different friends. All mostly disagree with me, but none of the answers were consistent bar one (Sigmund, this is you). Even so, i disagreed. Question: Can you prevent yourself from falling in love? My Answer: Yes. Ive heard it all from ur just saying that to u say that now, but when it happens you cant stop it. And my question is why not? Why cant you guard yourself from your moment of weakness. It is the most important decisaion of ur life. Why make it in a moment of weakness.
The dating philosophy of the youngsters today (fine fine, im a grandpa), the Gen X leaves me flabbergasted. I will first off declare that for some reason, i am an ultra conservative person. I come from a very liberal background and have had all sorts of freedom and liberties. But still i personally take a very conservative outlook on life. And so the antics of my generation often leave me gaping. They take these things so frivolously. Fall in love, fall out of love, change partners at the drop of a hat. The girls like to string along a number of guys at once, under the pretext of keeping their options open. Thats another thing. As bad as guys are, you can see them from what they are. Girls have this another hidden layer of hitherto undiscovered evilness.
They act as if they are in a buffet line, tasting and testing till theyve found the right dish. They swear by their trial and error method, not even bothering to take pains to look for the right person. Then if things start going wrong, they dont even bother to patch things up. Dump is the four letter word they swear by and move on to the next target. Some actually do give their relationship a chance. Of course, there isnt much of a relationship and the person theyve chosen is a proven stinker but the infatuation level is so high and their attitude so immature that they simply cant let go. And then there are those who know its not going to work between them or know its not a permanent thing and that the person they choose is not going to be the one they end up with and still they date each other, just to "Experience". So, even if you really fall for someone, its a difficult situation. You never know their past and have no idea what sort of flings theyve had, who theyve dated and what theyve done. Which makes things even more difficult for those who opt for or are forced into arranged marriages. To test and gauge everything in an hour is impossible.
Then there are those who are confused and easily impressed. These are the ones who dont know better and mistake crushes and infatuations for the real thing. Or maybe its just that they dont care. Why not spend the rest of your life with someone whom you are physically attracted to. The rest can be sorted out since life is about adjustment and compromise. Its a weird logic. Or maybe its just me thats weird because i say, why compromise?
As for me, i coudldnt bear to be with someone who has had innumerable flings (or actually even a single one, come to think about it). Its not just about being someones first preference but more. Call it ego if u will but thats the way it is. T just sit there and have someone look at you lovingly and then to realise, that shes looked at someone else the same way, or to rest ur head in her lap and lie in a carefree manner only for it to hit you that someone else before you has probably done the same thing.
Its a weird attitude and i feel it. More so because noone else agrees with me. One very good argument put forth by a friend is that this decision, in nature is like any other decision. It has the basic pros and cons common with any other decision taken. And so it cannot be taken with 100% confidence. You meet someone, you like him/her, you give it a try, and if it doesnt work later on, you move on. And if you meet someone, you cant expect them to have not fallen for anyone before yyou. And just because they tried out a relationship with someone else is not reason enough to reject that person, specially if its obvious that the two of you are compatible and clearly gel well. Okay, so he wasnt exactly that coherent or vociferous but that was pretty much the gist of what he wanted to convey. But somehow im still not convinced.
Just once id like to have this conversation who thinks along the lines that i do. But since that is impossible id settle for the next best thing. I would really like to have this conversation with someone who has not once fallen in love, or fallen for soemone. Thus far, my search has been futile. The world is changing. I dont fit in. And the way the world gets, im not so sure i want to fit in. Being rebellious, misfit and a reject is cool neway.