Getting Fresh

OK, first off -- Samir, funny isnt as easy as one might think. This sad and sobering fact i realised yesterday when i tried to switch off the torrent of thoughts and emotions ever running in my mind and tried to concentrate on wit. I failed miserably. Down below is my pathetic excuse for a funny article. Apologies my friends.

Heres some word on some looting, duping and decieving Gujarati style. Dunno where Mukesh Ambani gets his tips and inspirations but his latest scam looks like his guru is none other than the demon Modi himself. Another fancy sounding scheme that attracts people and so far people havent even begun to realise they are being duped.

A word of advice to Mr. Mukesh Ambani -- leave the fancy hi-tech stuff to chhotaa bhai. He
carries it off much better than you. I am of course, commenting on the Reliance Fresh scheme.Of course over here the vegetable vendors visit the main market early to ensure that the basic stuff that we need for our daily requirements are not available FRESHLY at the Reliance outlets....(yeah. chalk one up for the underdogs). You pick up a framework trolley (if you can find one). Then u put a basket on top. Then you pick out the veggies and fruits yourself, go to the polythene dispensing machine and put the stuff in - a different bag for each foodstuff. Then you go over to the counter and overpay for everything youve bought. Oh and you also have your regular foodstuffs and chocolates, biscuits, wafers...stuff that you get at retail price at say a big bazaar or whatever. Unfriendly staff and an irritating counter lady reciting useless offers like a five yr. old reciting "The Wreck of Hesperus" to indulgent adults dont add to the charm in anyway whatsoever. Also, whats so FRESH about those precooked, Kitchens of India and MTR vegetable packets which you can get anywhere?

Also dont expect perfect red apples or flawless potatoes and other veggies that youve only probably seen in Hollywood flicks. Or fresh fruits and vegetables kept in a chilled refrigerated environment. Also no handy man standing by to chop and peel for you or offer you tastes or anything of the sort.

Typical Gujarati way to loot you. You let urself be robbed with a smile on your face as you pick out not exceptionally fresh RADDISH (yep, thats how it was spelt) and imported pears (the fact that Indian pears are more delicious and they didnt stock any notwithstanding). So its just your average..and in many ways below average supermarket with just more quirks throw in (which somehow all involve you doing all the work) and some different (not good just different) marketing tactics.

Fun if you are a romantic who dreams about running into chicks at the supermarket or if you want quality imported chickpeas and budget no bar. You might get some exotic varieties there but for the most part you are better off shopping at your local vendor's. After all there is such a thing as the joy of haggling.