Seriously Funny!!!

You are in a bad mood...the first thing you loose is ...yep ur sense of humor. How do you show people ur cool, by being bored and losing ur sense of humor. By not laughing at simple jokes. You will still wear wanna be earstuds and put down cool songs cuz now they are oh so popular. But yeah...ur humor..thats out of the window. Maybe thats why cool people and in general most of the people around are so boring and insane. Theyve lost touch with their humor. Humor is the glue that binds your sanity to you. The world is a windy place and your sanity is a flimsy, fragile butterpaper waiting to be whisked away. Frivolity is a light snack that keeps you sated without the omnious shadow of obesity looming over you. Without the light in light humor you are doomed forever to preambulate aimlessly the upper echelons of the dark tower of insanity.

Fine fine ill stop being so spooky and get down to lighter brass (polished brass that is) tacks. See you dont like me when i get all serious. Thats how important humor is. It actually makes a person like me likeable (well ok that was a long shot...but at least tolerable right?). It is something we need to cling on to if we have a hope of surviving in this world. There is humor to be found in every aspect of life. Paradoxically however insane or crazy people with sense of humor may be (and those who know me are emphatically nodding along at this point) it is sometimes the only thing that makes sense. So not seeing the lighter side of things and laughing at silly jokes does not mean you are the strong silent type (cuz face it you dont have the chiselled features of Stallone or his box office success) it just means that you have lost touch with yourself.

Humor can be found in any situation. Instead of moping around on valentines day mourning your single status, enjoy the fact that you have your entire wallet to yourself and laugh at fools buying roses at ten times the price. Insane acts and insanity fuels up humour. It is the main instigator so to speak. And yet humor is the steadfast anchor for your sanity specially in this cataclysmic near apocalyptic world we inhabit. (In case some of you are wondering i have made it a point to include at least a few big words in every blog from now on no matter how badly i spell them or how silly they look.)

If humor is underappreciated among all the states of mind/states of emotions/qualities/mannerisms, then self deprecating humor is the most underestimated among all kinds of humor (again if neone is wondering why i go for the americanised spelling its cuz im lazy and its easier and also the other spelling is not Indian but Brit..so given the choice...well u figure it out). Self deprecating humor helps you estimate urself, you can take things in a more lighter, tolerant vein and it makes it difficult for people to target you. Also humor can be used to decimate barriers, lower inhbitions....a dangerous power in the wrong hands (sounds so cool doesnt it? kinda like Sith lightning from Star Wars). Nothing brings people closer faster than a shared sense of humor...trust me on that one.

Changing Channels - Surfing Life

All the resources we know have a limit. So do the resources of patience, emotions, confidence and other stands also limited? So resources directed in one direction will get depleted in another direction right? Maybe this is why when someone is getting on your nerves, you get crabby and irritated at life in general, cuz ur patience is directed at that one irritating source. So my confidence and trust are directed towards my beliefs and ideals maybe this is why i suffer from lack of self confidence and self belief. Cuz let me tell you for a pessimisstic guy who is a loser and has no faith in myself, i sure do stand by my convictions and have blind implicit faith in my principles and beliefs.

Then comes the problem of confidence. I am confident in my beliefs and principles and in my abilities. I am confident enough to know that i have zero potential, no capabilites whatsoever. People who are down and out are sometimes able to do something about it. And those who are unable to do anything, write or sing about their problems. I happen to fall into that category. The ultimate loser. I have confidence in what i think and believe but i dont have enough confidence in my confidence if you get my drift. But what interests me is is it the same with everyone? Abundance in one department leads to deficiency of the same in another? A similar situation that i will elucidate goes to explain why Nice Guys Finish Last (Green Day were bang on target with this number).

Its a cruel, mean, crazy world out there. Being saintly is the stupidest thing one could do, possibly bravest but certainly the stupidest. (okay, okay, most stupid not stupidest for you language sticklers). But being good is no walk in the park either. Not even a seedy park near a known crack den at one a.m. in the night. Being good, trying hard not to hurt others even though they have it coming, trying not to get angry, get mad takes up most of your energies (yours here meaning the good guys only). So they dont have much time for anything else. So unless they are extraordinarily gifted (Sigmund, Samir take a bow here) its impossible to come up tops in every or infact, anything.

Here an important thing is to give yourself some time alone. Read some books. Not enlightening high brow shit but pulp fiction and thrillers. Watch some silly movies. It lightens you up gets the adrenaline pumping. Laugh out loud, whistle at the absurd characters even shout out profanities. Its always important to let the bad out in private lest it leaks out in public. After all why fart in public when you have a bathroom.

So its like two hands and several balls up in the air while someone is trying to kick you in the balls. We are constantly juggling moods, emotions, thoughts, faiths and transferring them from one object to another or in the case of emotions from one state to another. Now emotions may be juggled like anger to love to hate to sadness to happiness. But even each of these have to be in limited quantity. One can only have so much love to give. One can only have so much anger to focus. What becomes the object of what is dependent on us....a fact that not many of us realise.

Letting off steam helps, chanelling emotions into the proper canal helps, and avoid overexposure of yourself to everyone. Alone time (i reapeat this incessantly not only here but in every goddamn blog all the live long day - i know) is of the utmost essence.

Get The Popcorn Me Hearties Yo Ho! A Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End Review

The third and again presumably final (whats with the trilogy obssession? Desperado trilogy, Bourne Trilogy, Shrek Trilogy, Star Wars trilogies, LOTR trilogy, Pirates Trilogy, X-men trilogy Godfather Trilogy etc) installment of the High Sea adventures of Captain Jack Sparrow and his cohorts is here. And it doesnt disappoint. But that is mostly because of the lowered expectations courtesy Dead Man's Chest.

You wonder why they whimsically brought Geoffrey Rush back to life and then you thank god they did for he helps while away time in each Deppless frame. And unfortunately there are quite a few. Why Kiera Knightley was given so big a role is a mystery. Why Johnny Depp was given so less (comparitive to the first two movies of course) is also a mystery. Why Knightley and Orlando Bloom have not resorted to taking acting classes is also a mystery. Add in a few more mysteries in the movie itself and you have quite a mysterious finale. But the thrill and Adrenaline run high mainly due to Johnny Depp's performance and Hans Zimmers awesome score.

Well the second and third installments make the storyline of the first movie seem inconsequential and kiddie like. Big world shaping events take place in the later episodes specially the final chapter. But i still like the first movie the best. At World's End does a good job of handling all the characters thrown into the fray and making sense and concluding all the storylines bombarded at us in the second installment.

All in all a good fare and if you watched the first two then this is a definitely dont miss. Kudos to Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush for awesome performances. Also commendable is the emphatically enunciating, Irish spouting, tentacled face monster Davy Jones/ Bill Nighly.

So throw logic and sense out of the windows and ready the popcorn me hearties!!!! oh and watch out for a scene after the titles...

Fantastic Bore: Demise of Movie Making or A Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer Review


The not so fantastic foursome face off against a trio of baddies. The foursome spend most of the time brokering deals with the baddies and the baddies keep turning on each other. To stop Galactus, they need the Surfer, to catch the Surfer they need Dr, Doom. Oh what a joyous merry go round they lead us. So there isnt much fighting to do nor is there much in the
form of a storyline.

Special effects are ok. Chris Evans is ok. Thats fine by me since Human Torch is the only character i really care about. And he is the only one who gets to do any fighting. Interestingly they stay faithful to all the Fantastic Four quirks and mannerisms. The ambience the gadgets the behavior etc. But still its like a perfect mechanical robot without a soul. Ioan Gruduff does a good job but his character isnt properly developed. Jessica Alba cant act nor can she pull of the blonde hair. Even The Thing/Ben Grimm doesnt get any action (by which i of course mean clobbereing).

The title is inaapropriate. There is no rise. But the silver surfer is there. And such magnificient potential wasted. The character is severely underdeveloped. Dr. Doom is aesthetically faithfull but little else. The climax is disappointing. Fortunately the movie is fast paced which is one of its few strengths.

Corny dialogues possibly lifted from older comics not even the contemporary ones and virtuous monologues at the end make you squirm and cringe in your seat. Clearly this one was made strictly for the kiddies. The end is meaningless which makes most of the movie pointless. And why do they pretend to bump off characters when everyone knows theyre just gonna bring them back. Avoid this one guys.

Fairly Tame/Fairy Tale Ending : A Shrek The Third Review

The monster has now been completely civilised. Hes married, has to visit the in laws, has great buddies to hang out with and in well on his way to a reluctant fatherhood. The final step (hopefully - would be good to go out on a high note) in the saga of our beloved monster tale. Domesticated and housebroken though he may be-eth he'll be damned if he's going to take on the administory (is that even a
word???!!??) position of king of far far away - Far Far Away being not one of those cool barbaric frigid zones waging constant wars but a quiet suburban kingdom much like L.A.

So when the frog-king (throw back your mind to the second movie) croaks his last, Shrek faces the choice of assuming the position himself or bringing in the next in line - Would be king Arthur. So of course, Shrek is off to adventure accompanied by Donkey (yeah!!!) whose sudden fatherhood has done nothing to diminish his silliness or sober him up and Puss in Boots (yeah baby!!!) who when hes not clanging swords with the best or making puppy dog faces (or is that kitten faces??!!?) is chasing Pussy N Booty.

The ladies are content to sit around throwing showers and sipping tea but that would be too boring. So Charming who for some reason was spared at the end of the second movie rallies all the fairy tale villains to his side. Yeah baby - time for the comeuppance of the bad guys. One almost sympathises with their plight. Little bit of lost potential there though because off all the fairytale villains they couldve picked they picked a surprisingly small no. Anyway its left to the lovely and some not so lovely accompanied by Donkey's Dragon to defend the kingdom from Charmings not so charming coup.

MEanwhile Arthur/Artie (bland performance by Justin Timberlake) turns out to be a highschool loser (took me back to old times that did) much drided and in dire need of self confidence or well a crown. Its upto the heroes to convince him to take up his destiny (cmon why stay in highschool when you can be king) and rush back to rescue the kingdom.

To make things interesting Donkey and Puss have an out of body experience and Merlin is thrown in. All in all the gags are funny, the starting few frames will have you in splits. Do not miss the start. Awesome performances by Eddie Murphy and Antonio Banderas. Also commendable is Mike Myers. All in all a fun though short movie with a nice soundtrack.

Of Apocryphal Banalities and Effacive Boundaries




Divisions have brought more unity than any other factor. Religious divides may bring dischord but it brings people of the same religion closer. Same goes for regional divides. If there were no Pakistan how many of us would be patriots? When have you cheered for your country more than in a cricket match. Everyone apparently needs a reminder of his "inherent" loyalties, which they claim are dormant ready to wake up like Kumbhakarn. You need an insult to the flag, or what is percieved as an insult to make you realise that its your national symbol and needs to be respected as such. Flag, the Indian Tricolor probably now inspires more fear than the Nazi
symbol during WWII. The best recourse is to salute it gravely from afar and then get going. Anything more to do with it is dangerous. Everytime you bring out your favourite T-Shirt youll be thinking...am i wearing green trousers...oh God and my undergarments are white, also im wearing a black belt...Good Heavens can this be construed as an insult to the flag??? Watch out next time u suck on an orange candy. Make sure ur not standing next to a guy eating vanilla whose standing next to a guy eating a green lemon ice candy.

Does it work on the same principle as "You dont realise the value of what you have until its lost"? OR is it because a bunch of out of work, down on luck, talentless, coarse, immature, bestial, easily duped, adrenaline junkies have nothing better to do than to cradle hockey sticks while sipping bad tea and watching the television in search of news that they can agitate against. They are certainly broad minded in some respects. From movie stars to art undergrads to AIDS activists - they spare noone. So division brings unity and the secular unity of the nation....that unity divides. A paradox if ever there was one much like life itself. A circle of irony and paradoxes that may give everyone what they want but in the wrong form at the wrong time leaving no one satisfied. Which i guess is as it should be, for if everyone was satisfied life would be stagnant and then there would be Armageddon. Stagnancy is death. change is the only constant in the world.

But to get back to the great divide. The Enemy of my Enemy is my Friend. Not quite an apt saying but Ally is certainly correct. A kinship is formed when two people unite against a third. Think about it. You probably have the most fun when you get together with a friend and badmouth a third party. That third party could be your mutual friend to a teacher at college to Hrithik Roshan to Oprah Winfrey. But it forms a bond. It certainly does. Thats why so much male bonding (Ahem....No gay undertones implied) occurs on sports fields, battlefields and prisons. And unity is the one thing that highlights differences more prominently, sounds dischords the most vociferously, shrilly proclaiming the lack of verisimilitude. Differnt people going about their businesses, living in close proximity, having different habits, pandering to a different lifestyle -- no one pays much attention. But try ushering them under one banner in the indefagtible spirit of unity and you see a convoluted vortex like rainbow of discrepancies creep in. This point was elucidated to an extent in what has become a modern cult book - Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I started reading it but the first couple of pages told me it was going to be a real piece of crap. Nevertheless my point is the same clause is emphasised, here in the guise of vagrancies in Men vs. Women. The best is to let things remain undefined
maintaining a balance where conflict exists to the point of inducing confluence.

The most remarkable alliances have their foundations in the tecton rocks of mutual hatred. But none ever last. In the spirit of constant change and dynamism once the threat is removed attention is turned within, and then when the cracks are magnified under scrutiny the strains on the bonds are too much, the alliances crumble. In this same spirit how long does a unity last -- a unity forcibly garbed around diverse and conflicting personas like a stifling coarse garb choking the very freedom so coveted by an individual? The inherent and subconcious awakening of this fact has lead perhaps to the culture of Moving On. No one fights or holds onto what they
once coveted anymore. The slightest signs of strain, the merest static of interference, the minutest signs of assymetry and people chuck the whole thing in the dumpster and move ahead -- no place for sentimentality (Yes, you are correct in assuming that i have relationships in mind while making this point.). No attachments, no bonds, nothing bereft if left. Which would be wonderful if one were a Jedi Knight in training, but alas the rest of the attitude bears little resemblance to those sagely warriors. The almost ephemeral balance that delicately holds equilibrium and semblance of sanity is too tedious a pursuit for people to devote any time to.

For example lets take what people call love. It cant be unconditional, thats just acceptance unfettered by any conditions. It cant develop gradually over a period of time, thats just a compromise, a mutually symbiotic ambivalent situation devised to provide comfort, convinience or a fluid maintainance of status quo. It is a delicate balance of several things that click and that you happen to like. Any one of your assumptions coming untrue would lead or atleast should lead to you falling out of love because once those anomalies are observed, it figures that this is not what you fell in love with.

While i view other relationships with not so stringent particulars, i still maintain that for their effective and effcient continuation a balance needs to be maintained. But things have become less like classical music and more like rock music...an octave higher or an octave lower which once made a whole world of difference now only induces perhaps the least imperceptible quiver of the eyebrow. People prefer to live safe while claiming to live vicariously. Because the one fact firmly ingrained in their subconcious is this. Things change and the apprehension and the agonisingly nailbiting wait for the other shoe to drop can drain the fun out of even the
present. Thats pessimism for you. And being a hardcore, die hard (optimism wld be never say die, so pessimism is die hard right? ok ok, bad joke.) pessimist thats the way i see it.

The epicentre of a balanced disc..or the fulcrum of a balanced situation is very very delicate. More so because of the dynamism and fluidity of the opposing factors. Hanging on with tenacity and yet knowing when to let go is important. An octave higher and an octave lower may be all the difference between Cacophony and euphony. Dont hold your point till apoplectic delirium sets in but do hold on. Collate the happenings around you, the alluric may be fools gold and what you let go may be the real deal.