Changing Channels - Surfing Life

All the resources we know have a limit. So do the resources of patience, emotions, confidence and other stands also limited? So resources directed in one direction will get depleted in another direction right? Maybe this is why when someone is getting on your nerves, you get crabby and irritated at life in general, cuz ur patience is directed at that one irritating source. So my confidence and trust are directed towards my beliefs and ideals maybe this is why i suffer from lack of self confidence and self belief. Cuz let me tell you for a pessimisstic guy who is a loser and has no faith in myself, i sure do stand by my convictions and have blind implicit faith in my principles and beliefs.

Then comes the problem of confidence. I am confident in my beliefs and principles and in my abilities. I am confident enough to know that i have zero potential, no capabilites whatsoever. People who are down and out are sometimes able to do something about it. And those who are unable to do anything, write or sing about their problems. I happen to fall into that category. The ultimate loser. I have confidence in what i think and believe but i dont have enough confidence in my confidence if you get my drift. But what interests me is is it the same with everyone? Abundance in one department leads to deficiency of the same in another? A similar situation that i will elucidate goes to explain why Nice Guys Finish Last (Green Day were bang on target with this number).

Its a cruel, mean, crazy world out there. Being saintly is the stupidest thing one could do, possibly bravest but certainly the stupidest. (okay, okay, most stupid not stupidest for you language sticklers). But being good is no walk in the park either. Not even a seedy park near a known crack den at one a.m. in the night. Being good, trying hard not to hurt others even though they have it coming, trying not to get angry, get mad takes up most of your energies (yours here meaning the good guys only). So they dont have much time for anything else. So unless they are extraordinarily gifted (Sigmund, Samir take a bow here) its impossible to come up tops in every or infact, anything.

Here an important thing is to give yourself some time alone. Read some books. Not enlightening high brow shit but pulp fiction and thrillers. Watch some silly movies. It lightens you up gets the adrenaline pumping. Laugh out loud, whistle at the absurd characters even shout out profanities. Its always important to let the bad out in private lest it leaks out in public. After all why fart in public when you have a bathroom.

So its like two hands and several balls up in the air while someone is trying to kick you in the balls. We are constantly juggling moods, emotions, thoughts, faiths and transferring them from one object to another or in the case of emotions from one state to another. Now emotions may be juggled like anger to love to hate to sadness to happiness. But even each of these have to be in limited quantity. One can only have so much love to give. One can only have so much anger to focus. What becomes the object of what is dependent on us....a fact that not many of us realise.

Letting off steam helps, chanelling emotions into the proper canal helps, and avoid overexposure of yourself to everyone. Alone time (i reapeat this incessantly not only here but in every goddamn blog all the live long day - i know) is of the utmost essence.