Hands On - The Phallic Phascination
There is something about a protruding object that seems to catch the male fantasy. Now, before you allow your minds to wander and take a leisurely dip in the gutter, I shall proceed to paint a clearer picture, with firm brushstrokes - something that i can only figuratively achieve seeing as the only subject I ever failed in school was drawing.
Take a gun for instance. A gun in any form, airgun, toy pistol, prop item, cigarette lighter seems to attract the male attention. They hold it in various poses, they take mock aim, they wave it around. Hell, they even like to shove it around in their waistband and move about. It helps them exude a sense of confidence and power, for some reason. It could be argued here that it may be so because even a fake gun invokes the imagery of the real thing. But this phenomenon is not just relegated to firearms. Mock swords, daggers, knives nunchuks, anything works. Even the sad geeks have their Star Trek phasers. Star Wars fans ( they are not GEEKS!!!!) have their lightsabers - which for some is the paragon of symbolism in the Star Wars universe. Even a remote control, even that small one attached to your keyring that electronically locks/unlocks your car appears irresistible to the males. Maybe its the sense of control that subconsciously personifies, the power to change channels, to lock and unlock doors at the press of a button or whatever. And while we are tossing out examples like confetti, lets not forget the guitar. That for some males is the ultimate chick magnet ( in their defence, the guitar does seem to attract the female in droves, albeit of a somewhat dumber variety - but then people who take up playing guitar to attract women surely don't bother about their IQ or brainpower). A few chords here and there and you have female swooning. Its hard to sound disharmonious or cacophonous with a well tuned guitar, be as musically challenged as you may.
Maybe what it all comes down to is men need something to do with their hands. While the empty mind is the devil's playground, it's obvious males find empty hands equally unnerving. Now that I think about it, I cant recall my hands ever being empty. I'm either holding the handlebars of my scooter, or a TV remote, a book, fiddling with my ipod or tapping away on my keyboard to generate amateurish, corny crap like this piece right here ( its amazing how often u get stymied by simple spellings. I typed PIECE three times before getting it right. Maybe it is true when they say that the brain just reads the first and last letters and processes the word as a whole. But let us leave that. I digress). If none of these, I'm either handling my mouse and keyboard or my joystick (oh come on, you dirty people get your minds out of the gutter. I'm speaking literally here, not figuratively) and playing games on my trusty PC. Oh games, the bone of contention between many a parent and son, between boyfriends and girlfriends. Men are fascinated by games, controlling characters, even worlds at the press of a button. And now Nintendo that venerable video game maker has given us the ultimate protruding device, the Wiimote.
Oh now I just thought of another one. A camera, especially the big powerful one with a protruding lens. That is something that males like too. Capturing the moment for posterity with the press of a button. Hence proved, every man craves power, not just ambitious businessmen or bad politicians. Do I hear women rejoicing. Well they shouldn't. They crave power most of all. And they use their hands to do achieve it too. Whether it is folding them wistfully to melt a stone heart or just yanking the puppet strings figuratively tied around their fingers to achieve their petty manipulations. Yay, I'm so happy i managed to end this one on a female-bashing note as well. Hmm it appears I do have a sad and empty life.
