Calling All Callaholics



There is a new communicable disease on the horizon. Spreading rapidly and increasing exponentially, it is an all encompassing disease, pervading all aspects of society without discrimination. I am referring to the disease of communication. Confused? As always, I shall elucidate. Notice how everyone these days likes to spend hours on the phone? Thanks to lower STD rates, free STD calls within the same service provider network, lesser roaming charges etc. lovers spend more and more time on the cellphone. And its not just lovers. Even in arranged marriages, couples are adamant in their desire in falling in love first. And so they spend hours on the phone gabbing their way to posterity, yakking nineteen to the dozen. Strangely out of some mesmerising compulsion its the guy who calls up but spends the entire conversation in a dreary desolate look hoping to goodness for the conversation to end. And the girl spends the entire conversation huddled up in a corner, coyly whispering (albeit whispering nineteen to the dozen) and giggling. And this disease spreads in a communicable fashion. People seem to take this in a very competitive spirit. Everyone trying to outdo the other in who can spend the longest time huddled away in a corner conversing in hushed tones, boring the poor fiance to death. Guys strangely enough love to chat as long as they are talking to their girlfriends. But as soon as the girlfriends turn to fiances or wives to be (or going more by the modern trend, when the girlfriends are discarded for fiances) they take on a gloomy demeanour.

At this rate, the couple will end up exhausting all topics for conversation. In the quest for knowing every possible thing about their spouses to be they will drain every ounce of excitement before marriage. There will be no mystery and romance left for after marriage. I mean, they have the rest of their lives left to spend together (unless they are fond of the hollywood trend of discarding and getting a new one). Why not leave some enigma or puzzle to be solved after marriage.

If not, a typical conjugal night conversation will appear something like this:
So, whats new?
Not much, whats new with you?
Same old.
I love you.
I know, you've told me.
Umm....(pregnant silence)
so....(and here, mark you, they won't be able to even bitch about their near friends and distant relatives, cuz they've already done that on the phone.)
Wanna open the gifts?
You know what so and so must have given us.
Well, G'nite then.
G'nite. (the mood ruined, they won't even be able to do the customary thing, generally done on these nights)




Speaking of conjugal night...How many Indians spend their conjugal nights only sleeping. Yeah, this is the question asked by Salman Khan in the new programme Dus ka Dum, of course shamelessly copied from the original The Power of Ten. Funny how no one seems to mind plagiarism in telivision as much as they do in films. Also if they are plagiarising, why not use it to improve the quality of our soaps, or even better, abolish them altogether or condemn them
to the evening slot. Or improve the quality of humour, sound effects, plot outline and storyline of our sitcoms. But let us not get sidetracked. What I want to say is Salman has brought his charismatic charm and I think its going to be a fun show. Yes, you pretentious snobs, i like Mr. Khan. Yes, I watch gaudy slapstick comedies and i adore mindless action films. I like hindi music and revel in frivolity. You gotta problem with that?

Captain Courageous ---- Those Brave Few/Many




Like with almost everything else in the world, i have a different opinion about courage. Courage is something that i think everyone possesses. And I dont mean it in the You can do it, look into your heart, climax scene, Luke Skywalker/Frodo/Harry Potter/Tinman (thats from the Wizard of Id for you ignoramuses) sense. I mean everyone has the courage to do different things. And when we see someone doing something that we wouldnt dream of doing or attempting in a thousand years, we promptly title it "Courage".

People often do things subconciously or things that come as second nature to them. Often they are bred in an environment where what they do is considered normal and completely natural. To others these things might seem strange and unique, something they are unable to do or be comfortable with in public. So if a man bred on a deserted island ends up in a restaurant munching with his mouth oben and slurping and slabbering and eating off the table or floor, we might thing, man hes got guts to be able to do that in public, but for him its perfectly normal.

Being able to talk to girls, wearing pink shirts in public, there are all sorts of things that we find unable to do that others do effortlessly. And so we find such people courageous. We might get envious of some (for example the female charmers) and consider the others downright stupid (for me, these would be the effiminate shade donners or the pink pissants as i call them). But to get back to the point, i think being courageous requires a certain amount of detachment. A person from a smaller place, perhaps a village will behave obnoxiously and wont shy from arguing with the teachers and have a "Damned if i care" attitude about ettiquettes only because that is how he grew up. He knows nothing else. He is blissfully unaware of the effect this has on others. We in our naive way just think how brave he is to confront the authority and behave in such a reckless manner. So as i was saying, detachment, or more precisely being unaware is the key. At least at a concious level, one must be oblivious of the consequences and effects of ones actions to carry out the action in a nonchalant or carefree manner.

People who are full of themselves also end up confronting authority or bicker with someone we tend to defer to in a way that makes them appear courageous. But fear has no place in this situation, for them, for the only reason that they are so full of themselves. So basically its all about the mind. Sheer distraction can help you forget things, including fear. So be absent minded, be brave.

On a very different note, i was noticing the ads posted by google on my page. The ads are supposed to be relevant to the contents posted on my page.
And this is what the randomizer, or committee or artificial intelligence at the google saw fit to post on my page:
Hot Girls
Girl Kissing
Teenage Girls
Bad Girl

Makes my site look like a veritable pimp site. I mean c'mon!!!!!! What do i have to do to prove that I am a woman hater, chauvnist and a misogynist.

Being Bad.....And Really Good At It


I read a Roald Dahl story where the author in guise of the character claims that artistic, creative people usually tend to be polygamous. They sometimes also have a streak of meanness or eccentricity or amorality. I myself have evidenced the above fact in some little quantity and have formed a vague idea or outline if you will on the subject.

I believe it has something to do with restraint. Now allow me to exonerate myself from all possible controversies by conveying that i in no way condone lax morals or lack of values. But the mind is an intricate organ. Restraints cannot selectively be placed upon it. As such, no one can fully explain the cuneiform like intricate machinations that are essential to its functions but what i can conclude, arguably, is this - they way you treat and handle your mind in one respect affects all avenues. If you are messy and tardy, it not only affects your daily functions, it is not just restricted to your daily toilette, it also affects how you analyze, how you study, how you write. Similarly, a person who goes by the rules, is bound by laws, principles, morals, in short anything that curbs the inherent freedom of the mind, ends up confining his mind in all aspects. The mind gets used to being led about on a short leash. As a result it affects his ability to think out of the box, his imaginations and his creativity. His ruminations, if present will be confined to
banal daily activites.

Maybe thats why the bad boys are always the good ones. They may drink and loaf around, wreak havoc, create mayhem but for all of that, when the time comes, they shine. Brilliance and intelligence comes easy to them. They can pull of tough tasks, especially involving cerebral skill, with nonchalant ease.

The mind has less boundaries, is less bound and is free to roam and wander. So innovation and out of the box thinking come naturally. A person who has lived his entire life in a cell or a dungeon or a deserted island if you will, will not know the first thing about civilisation and what to do in an open boundless world. And so it is with the mind. Which is probably why nice guys finish last.

I mean lets face it. Being nice and kind and polite all the time requires some concentration and effort cuz everyone has a dark side waiting to be unleashed. So constantly being goody two shoes takes a toll. And if a section of the mind is preoccupied keeping the moralities in check, naturally other faculties will be affected a little due to diverted resources.

Truly the burden of a conscience once considered a noble quality proves burdensome in the cut throat world of today. Peaceful coexistence is out of the window. Survival is now all about competition. So what do you do? Shed all the niceties and free your mind (albeit in a very unmatrix unneo like manner)?

Well I for one shall certainly will not be the first to fall.

Bad Dog, Jingo!!!!!!!


The virtue of patriotism - if it is at all a virtue - is, one that I do not possess. I think it is something that no thinking man can possess. Hell, i cant support the Indian cricket team. I dont like most of them. As a team, its not the best. Its not by choice that i was born in this country. You cant force it on me.

Choice is of the utmost important. When something is of our choosing, it basically indicates the presence of free will. And that as we know surpasses everything as far as priorities go. I can be loyal to something that i choose. Brands, F1 teams, friends, colas .... just about anything. But you think I'm being frivolous. I don't mention places at the risk of sounding scandalous or maybe being labeled a traitor or some such foolish thing. But yes, i admit i

could be loyal to a place if i chose it. Freedom of choice is very important to me. And the emphasis here is on freedom. I don't actually hate or abhor the things thrust on me. Allow me to elucidate. I support South Africa and New Zealand in cricket. Because i chose them as teams that i like. And thats why you will find me rooting for them. But i could support India against other countries it played barring the aforementioned two. But just the fact that people automatically assume that i should support it, and the fact that people chide me and give me a hard time for not making it my numero uno favorite, I find immense joy and pleasure in supporting any which nation that it plays against.

So then, jingoism, thats the term for what passes for patriotism these days. Its an era of globalization. The playing field of the world is being flattened (ok, so now im shamelessly quoting Thomas Friedman's The World is Flat) and as such we must recognize who has the best of what instead of shamelessly and falsely claiming that we are the best. We get to pick the best ingredients and make a heady cocktail (figuratively speaking, of course). So then, back to the matter of choice. Here we go around shouting and clamoring for freedom and yet when we do have the freedom we chose to ignore it. Why, in many cases its the fear of being labeled a traitor. Peer pressure guys...theres no escaping it. What is required is a paradoxical mix of recognizing the individual and the whole. I'll elaborate though i doubt ill get any more lucid as i progress. Chose any individual thing that you like and not the whole that it is a part of. You can like a player but that doesn't mean you support the whole damn team. You may like After Eight Thin Mint Chocolates from Nestle, (I for one, certainly do) but that doesn't mean that you have to like the entire Nestle range. Thats what i mean by choosing the individual. As for whole,
think of the whole world as one big family. Don't think too much of borders and divides and think of different countries as being made for administrative convenience rather than taking the borders as battle lines drawn.

Also, this is not a propaganda for selfishness whereby i ask you to choose whats convenient for you and ignore the difficult things in life. All I'm saying is don't just follow the crowd and don't submit to the pressure of having to do what every other fool around you is doing. This is the customization age. You can pick and choose what you like. You don't need to take the whole package. Select what you like. Mix and match. Rock and roll. Shout and jump. Like, yo man. Be cool Dude. Or whatever. I'm losing it.