Dance Revolution (and Rotations and Gyrations)


Dancing is one of Indias favourite pastimes and by far one of their most popular partytime activities second only to gobbling food and bitching. And just because they love it they think they are experts at it. This Indian tendency for presumption is irritating ( I PRESUME, you all have come across it at one time or the other). Like they presume that just because theyworship cricket they can alter status of cricketers from demigods to villains worthy of effigyburning and stone pelting. They will even accord godlike status to the likes of MSD (Sorry, but i cant stand the sorry, barely talented, weird english spouting sop...also i have better hair than he does) But back to the topic at hand. Dancing....... Indians are passionate about dancing. They love doing what according to them is dance. We have a history and culture suffused, permeated and saturated with dance.

But dancing today is an expression of every kind of overflowing emotion. Carried away with joy, excited or simply trying to freak out, most people find their solace in dancing. Ive been to weddings where brides have left the Mandap only to head straight to the dance floor. A good reason to hate both dance and girls.

But party dancing is an altogether different...umm....genre, if you will. And Indians have gleefully sidestepped the nuances and finer points of the art of party dancing and trampled gleefully on the dancefloor brandinshing their half knowledges about various kinds of dance garnered mostly from soppy bollywood movies. As we all know, half a knowledge is a dangerous thing...in this case the danger is mostly to your partners or neighbours feet. I have had my feet trampled on by only sitting in a far corner eating kebabs or sipping black coffee (nothing in the world would induce me to dance). I see my friends expressing joys and emotions throught dance. Some get overexited and obnoxious, irritating the persons around them. Some have a screwed up expression chanelling all their concentration into the dance, some go in for a light groove and swaying while holding conversations, while some go in for (according to them) sexy moves with vibes and thrusts. But the intent is always more evident in the faces than in the moves.

I have had some of the best laughs of my life wathcing people, especially indians trying to dance. Trying and failing miserably, But true to their obnoxiousness they are carefree and unaware of their embarassment. No party is complete without dancing. And it is always accompanied by obnoxious punjabi rap and weird hindi item numbers. The kind of songs that i cant stand are apparently all danceble. Another good reason to hate dancing. Ive seen people lose control and act stupid.

I hate losing control. But thats just me. The point here is that Indians CAN'T dance.
If youre not busy making a fool of yourself and if you observe, just observe, not even closely, you will see that indians have no idea what to do with their hands, They wave them about in all kinds of motions and gestures. Indians dancing is like Mahendra Dhoni batting (here i go with my MSD bashing again but sorry guys....i cant stand the fellow)...they just
sweep their arms about with zero footwork and hope that thatll do the trick.

Thats what happens when dance competitions indulge in drama rather than dancing...no one learns anything. So I say stick to cultural and festivity dancing and as for parties and social gatherings, I suggest you stick to food apprecitation.