Jhandoo Udte Rahein Hamaare


This sunday morning a friend of mine brought to my attention this well written and witty piece in the Hindustan Times Sunday supplement. Ridiculing several well noted characteristics and traits of us incorrigible Indians it enlarged upon many themes several of which i have noticed myself. For example our tendency to follow ICT instead of IST...i.e. Indian Classical Time instead of Indian Standard Time. We wake up at the time we are supposed to leave...no no, let me rectify that, our alarm rings when we are supposed to leave and then we snooze, we wake up, take our time in performing our daily toilets and ablutions and then get ready leisurely. And if you happen to reach an hour before the appointed time, you find you have pipped the host to the winning post. The host, who is supposed to kick of the procceedings must arrive within an hour and a half from the appointed time and no later.

But a few essential and less funnier points were left out and i will try to elaborate on them in the following passages. Bear with me.

Also the tendencies of Gujaratis to spread Gujarat like a lymphoma wherever they go. They not only carry their papads and achars with them but their essential Gujaratiness which is infections...and not necessarily in the good sense like laughter. Like wise the tendency of few South Indians to spread favouritism and segeragation wherever they go.

Hipocrisy is our biggest luxury and corruption is our largest commodity. Corruption sells things and gets things done. But only in India can corruption itself develop into a full fledged albeit officially unacknowleged industry. It is an essentiality and a comfort. Follow all the procedures to the T. Cross your Ts and dot your Is. But unlike older times bribery isnt just to cut the line or jump the gun. Bribery is implied in every step of the proper procedural order.

Hypocrisy. A very essential element of our culture. Diversity is a symbol of our nation. And in many senses. Diversity in our attitude and behaviour, our judgements and beliefs towards the same object or situation in differing circumstances is what is so necessary for our survival. It helps keep up the fragile facade and maintain the delicate balance between our needs and our public image.

The importance to be noticed. To be acknowledged is important. We make it a clear point to recieve no thanks for the favours done but the thanks given is naturally considered a custom a tradition like dowry or a birthday gift. The disinclination to accept it is just a ritual. If the aforementioned thanks is not prooferred even though our contribution may be insignificant even deterrent to the cause we will be so very hurt if thanks are not given. Its like a credit card swipe....one swish and the digital account is instantly changed....instant gratification.

Guys and girls acting like they are in the west. So influenced by west movies and culture yet constrained and crippled by local customs and sense of proprieties, we end up in a no mans land. And that means being deluded. Check that girl out shes looking at me. shes sending me signals. That guy is all nuts about me. Guys are desperate to have us. Girls pretend they dont care but are among the most desperate creatures, just crying out for attention and to be noticed. These and other misconceptions abound and are accepted by a misguided youth society.

We also have different perceptions of what is vulgar and unethical. Anything that goes against what has been ingrained into us from like forever is vulgar. Secretly enjoy though we may these things, our sense of decorum and decency demands that we condemn and pan these things. Music videos and raunchy ads and R rated movies. Of course belching and farting are part of the natural order as is picking our teeth with open mouthed satisfaction or picking our noses in public. No siree....it cant be classified as vulgar...just not cricket...or rather gulli dandaa. I wouldnt be surprised if Mrs. Sushma Swaraj just happened to crack her infamous whip on television channels just because she caught her husband having it off to a midnight tv show on his sofa with his belly, among other areas of his anatomy, hanging out.

Everyone has something to say. Men and Women are a bundle of needs. Indian men and women are a bundle of needs and the needs to express their opinions. Advice is always free and prooferred. Its only a while before some starch fed belching Gujarati hits upon the idea of harnessing advice as the next big moneyspinning industry. Gossiping is in the nature of people. Decorum and decency is maintained in front of our guests always. But that to is always taken literally. IN FRONT of them. Most of the time we are counting off the seconds to their departure so tongues can start wagging and opinions start being formed.