Inanimate Animosity


Why choose things over people? Well, several reasons actually. Books, songs, movies reflect moods of several people. So at least its an interaction with people. Indirectly. And they do not have the unwanted element of unpredictability. That is not to say im afraid of surprises. Its not that easy to surprise me. I do have some experience at psychoanalysis and can gauge moods and patterns. But to do that when 90% of the people are useless and boring is
just a criminal waste of time and energy.

Besides, things dont lash out for no reason whatsoever, they dont question your preference of other things, things aren't vindictive, and most importantly things dont gather a gaggle of giggling girls, dithering like idiots, smirking behind your back (yep, the last one is targeted specifically at the lesser quotients of the human equation). When you are constantly surrounded with people, you need to filter out the bullshit out of the conversation. You need to
tolerate whats likeable and whats not. With books, movies et al, you can just take your pick and skip the rest.
For an intensely private person like myself, being constantly surrounded by people takes its toll very soon. The sight of a contended person sitting alone in a corner irks them. How dare he not crave our company, how dare he sit self satisfied like a zen monk without the urge to smatter himself all over us.

Because they can never be at peace alone, they wont let you be either. They come over and snatch the book you are reading (Which novel is this? is it related to the course? And yes, always a novel, even if the cover featured mathematical configurations and formulas, it will to their eyes, always remain a novel.). Or they peel of the earphones off your ears (this is one of the most irritating things i can think of, and is more than enough to send me into a murderous rage).

But it can be gauged from this that even they are smart enough to consider these objects as their rivals as far as my attentions are concerned. So my philosophy is, you dont need 100 friends. Even a few, those that can be counted on the fingers of one hand, will do, so long as they be staunch and true (no, thats not my pathetic attempt at poetry. It just happens to rhyme). A handful of friends, a laptop, an ipod, an internet connection and you have everything you could possibly need right there.

Under Pressure

What I'd really like is to live a nice free life. Earn just enough to sustain myself, have a easy flexible job. Head back to my hole, order some pizza, turn on the music, play video games or read cheap thrillers or comic books. But no. Honour, family, prestige. You have to take these into consideration. You must earn more than those in your circle. You must study and become as qualified as the rest.

You have family pressure, peer pressure to think about. All these attachments and relations bog you down. No wonder the Jedi avoided all attachments including family. Imagine waving around your lightsaber in a fight with you mom nagging you..Obi Wan you'd better be a better swordsman than Master Windu by the time you are his age. You are being trained to compete. Now, even without nagging, you have this competitive spirit. And while this is not necessarily a bad thing, for all those who just want to sit back and enjoy life, this can pose a problem.

There is that school of thought that life isnt meant to be frittered away and we must work hard and take it seriously. But then, doesnt that mean that life is not a gift, but some grave burden that must be borne? Opinions, conformities and traditions hamper then happpiness and satisfaction of man. I mean , if man doesnt know what he wants, how can he be happy in the first place.

Well, of course i cant help having dark thoughts can I now? I mean, 23 yrs old and no respite or success in sight. Happy Birthday to me....Yay

Heavy Duty Bullshit

Frivolous people have one very important thing in common. They wait until there is a group or gathering of people to broach the real heavy duty topics. They want people to think they are the broody and ponderous type. I have a philosophy which comes true especially when it comes to heavy and private thoughts. What you think is what you think. Once you think out
loud in a huge gathering it isnt technically a thought anymore and ergo you cannot be the brooding hunky thinker a la the masterpiece by michaelangelo that you imagine yourself to be.

Thoughts about where life is headed, what kind of love you seek, what you expect from life, your innermost personality traits arent meant to be discussed around a canteen table in a drab afternoon, or like in the case I talk about, an interns table on a slow, lazy day.

Then they point fingers at you and then ask you. What about you, what do u think/what do you expect from life/what is you ambition/what kind of girl do u seek/how many girlfriends have you had/what is your definition of love? Well.. I mean to ask, what about me? If I indeed have answers to these questions, its none of your business. I hate to walk into one of
these conversations. And thanks to the air of frivolity that I carry around, I get targeted and made a spectacle of.

Everyone has a well formed opinion. Kaavish will do this, Kaavish does this, He's way to immature, He just likes junk food, he just likes his damn books (well, why shouldnt I? They are among the most stimulating company I can find).

I feel like pointing out their arrogance to them. Their stupid meaningless air of meaningfullness. The aura of solemnity that they pretend to project is nothing but a sham, and I'd love to expose it for what it is. But as I approach, I hear mediocre, slow, loud, cacophonous hindi film music blasting from their cellphones and i walk away into a corner, take out a
book, plug in my earphones and turn up my Ipod full blast. There I am, blissfully seated with two of my best friends, my book and my Ipod.

Global Warring


This was initially supposed to be a request blog. A friend of mine requested I write a blog on how India is heading towards salvery once again. This time it wasn't the British imperialist warmachine. It was the globalizing corporate war machine that threatened to engulf us. That was, more or less his opinion. And I'm sure most of you will agree. I however was thinking. When the government talks about this corporate machine, especially the BJP's and leftists, they
are just being hypocritical. This is the era of globalisation. And we are being incorporated into that. Although we are at the fag end of it as yet. The manual laborious tasks in the IT sector, the menial work as it were, are outsourced to us. We are the masters of something as insignificant as their helpline, or as we popularly know them, call centers. But we are
slowly catching up. Some of the most important innovation in the software sector is being achieved by Indians. Indian software engineers are being sought and are among the most highly coveted.

So India isnt exactly being enslaved by it. We dont let consolidated and resourceful chains like Walmart in because they are allegedly a threat to our small retailers and shopkeepers. But yet we let the Reliance Hypermarkets and Big Bazaars thrive. In reality, its these Indian corporate houses that probably put the pressure and tighten the noose, financially speaking around the government and politicians' neck. This is because they know that they are no match for the ruthless efficiency and innovative marketing strategies that are the domains of these international chains. In short it is sheer hypocrisy.

Indian colmonglorates and head honchos should be capable enough of competing with international companies and match upto their standards. And if by slavery we mean that people are becoming more materialistic and consumerist in their approach, well than it is that era. We want the best of both worlds. We want the best of what the other people in the world are
having. But we wont put in the innovation, daring and hard work they put in. There we seek out our third world status, poverty and internal strife as a refuge, an excuse for our mediocrity.

Calling All Callaholics



There is a new communicable disease on the horizon. Spreading rapidly and increasing exponentially, it is an all encompassing disease, pervading all aspects of society without discrimination. I am referring to the disease of communication. Confused? As always, I shall elucidate. Notice how everyone these days likes to spend hours on the phone? Thanks to lower STD rates, free STD calls within the same service provider network, lesser roaming charges etc. lovers spend more and more time on the cellphone. And its not just lovers. Even in arranged marriages, couples are adamant in their desire in falling in love first. And so they spend hours on the phone gabbing their way to posterity, yakking nineteen to the dozen. Strangely out of some mesmerising compulsion its the guy who calls up but spends the entire conversation in a dreary desolate look hoping to goodness for the conversation to end. And the girl spends the entire conversation huddled up in a corner, coyly whispering (albeit whispering nineteen to the dozen) and giggling. And this disease spreads in a communicable fashion. People seem to take this in a very competitive spirit. Everyone trying to outdo the other in who can spend the longest time huddled away in a corner conversing in hushed tones, boring the poor fiance to death. Guys strangely enough love to chat as long as they are talking to their girlfriends. But as soon as the girlfriends turn to fiances or wives to be (or going more by the modern trend, when the girlfriends are discarded for fiances) they take on a gloomy demeanour.

At this rate, the couple will end up exhausting all topics for conversation. In the quest for knowing every possible thing about their spouses to be they will drain every ounce of excitement before marriage. There will be no mystery and romance left for after marriage. I mean, they have the rest of their lives left to spend together (unless they are fond of the hollywood trend of discarding and getting a new one). Why not leave some enigma or puzzle to be solved after marriage.

If not, a typical conjugal night conversation will appear something like this:
So, whats new?
Not much, whats new with you?
Same old.
I love you.
I know, you've told me.
Umm....(pregnant silence)
so....(and here, mark you, they won't be able to even bitch about their near friends and distant relatives, cuz they've already done that on the phone.)
Wanna open the gifts?
You know what so and so must have given us.
Well, G'nite then.
G'nite. (the mood ruined, they won't even be able to do the customary thing, generally done on these nights)




Speaking of conjugal night...How many Indians spend their conjugal nights only sleeping. Yeah, this is the question asked by Salman Khan in the new programme Dus ka Dum, of course shamelessly copied from the original The Power of Ten. Funny how no one seems to mind plagiarism in telivision as much as they do in films. Also if they are plagiarising, why not use it to improve the quality of our soaps, or even better, abolish them altogether or condemn them
to the evening slot. Or improve the quality of humour, sound effects, plot outline and storyline of our sitcoms. But let us not get sidetracked. What I want to say is Salman has brought his charismatic charm and I think its going to be a fun show. Yes, you pretentious snobs, i like Mr. Khan. Yes, I watch gaudy slapstick comedies and i adore mindless action films. I like hindi music and revel in frivolity. You gotta problem with that?

Captain Courageous ---- Those Brave Few/Many




Like with almost everything else in the world, i have a different opinion about courage. Courage is something that i think everyone possesses. And I dont mean it in the You can do it, look into your heart, climax scene, Luke Skywalker/Frodo/Harry Potter/Tinman (thats from the Wizard of Id for you ignoramuses) sense. I mean everyone has the courage to do different things. And when we see someone doing something that we wouldnt dream of doing or attempting in a thousand years, we promptly title it "Courage".

People often do things subconciously or things that come as second nature to them. Often they are bred in an environment where what they do is considered normal and completely natural. To others these things might seem strange and unique, something they are unable to do or be comfortable with in public. So if a man bred on a deserted island ends up in a restaurant munching with his mouth oben and slurping and slabbering and eating off the table or floor, we might thing, man hes got guts to be able to do that in public, but for him its perfectly normal.

Being able to talk to girls, wearing pink shirts in public, there are all sorts of things that we find unable to do that others do effortlessly. And so we find such people courageous. We might get envious of some (for example the female charmers) and consider the others downright stupid (for me, these would be the effiminate shade donners or the pink pissants as i call them). But to get back to the point, i think being courageous requires a certain amount of detachment. A person from a smaller place, perhaps a village will behave obnoxiously and wont shy from arguing with the teachers and have a "Damned if i care" attitude about ettiquettes only because that is how he grew up. He knows nothing else. He is blissfully unaware of the effect this has on others. We in our naive way just think how brave he is to confront the authority and behave in such a reckless manner. So as i was saying, detachment, or more precisely being unaware is the key. At least at a concious level, one must be oblivious of the consequences and effects of ones actions to carry out the action in a nonchalant or carefree manner.

People who are full of themselves also end up confronting authority or bicker with someone we tend to defer to in a way that makes them appear courageous. But fear has no place in this situation, for them, for the only reason that they are so full of themselves. So basically its all about the mind. Sheer distraction can help you forget things, including fear. So be absent minded, be brave.

On a very different note, i was noticing the ads posted by google on my page. The ads are supposed to be relevant to the contents posted on my page.
And this is what the randomizer, or committee or artificial intelligence at the google saw fit to post on my page:
Hot Girls
Girl Kissing
Teenage Girls
Bad Girl

Makes my site look like a veritable pimp site. I mean c'mon!!!!!! What do i have to do to prove that I am a woman hater, chauvnist and a misogynist.

Being Bad.....And Really Good At It


I read a Roald Dahl story where the author in guise of the character claims that artistic, creative people usually tend to be polygamous. They sometimes also have a streak of meanness or eccentricity or amorality. I myself have evidenced the above fact in some little quantity and have formed a vague idea or outline if you will on the subject.

I believe it has something to do with restraint. Now allow me to exonerate myself from all possible controversies by conveying that i in no way condone lax morals or lack of values. But the mind is an intricate organ. Restraints cannot selectively be placed upon it. As such, no one can fully explain the cuneiform like intricate machinations that are essential to its functions but what i can conclude, arguably, is this - they way you treat and handle your mind in one respect affects all avenues. If you are messy and tardy, it not only affects your daily functions, it is not just restricted to your daily toilette, it also affects how you analyze, how you study, how you write. Similarly, a person who goes by the rules, is bound by laws, principles, morals, in short anything that curbs the inherent freedom of the mind, ends up confining his mind in all aspects. The mind gets used to being led about on a short leash. As a result it affects his ability to think out of the box, his imaginations and his creativity. His ruminations, if present will be confined to
banal daily activites.

Maybe thats why the bad boys are always the good ones. They may drink and loaf around, wreak havoc, create mayhem but for all of that, when the time comes, they shine. Brilliance and intelligence comes easy to them. They can pull of tough tasks, especially involving cerebral skill, with nonchalant ease.

The mind has less boundaries, is less bound and is free to roam and wander. So innovation and out of the box thinking come naturally. A person who has lived his entire life in a cell or a dungeon or a deserted island if you will, will not know the first thing about civilisation and what to do in an open boundless world. And so it is with the mind. Which is probably why nice guys finish last.

I mean lets face it. Being nice and kind and polite all the time requires some concentration and effort cuz everyone has a dark side waiting to be unleashed. So constantly being goody two shoes takes a toll. And if a section of the mind is preoccupied keeping the moralities in check, naturally other faculties will be affected a little due to diverted resources.

Truly the burden of a conscience once considered a noble quality proves burdensome in the cut throat world of today. Peaceful coexistence is out of the window. Survival is now all about competition. So what do you do? Shed all the niceties and free your mind (albeit in a very unmatrix unneo like manner)?

Well I for one shall certainly will not be the first to fall.

Bad Dog, Jingo!!!!!!!


The virtue of patriotism - if it is at all a virtue - is, one that I do not possess. I think it is something that no thinking man can possess. Hell, i cant support the Indian cricket team. I dont like most of them. As a team, its not the best. Its not by choice that i was born in this country. You cant force it on me.

Choice is of the utmost important. When something is of our choosing, it basically indicates the presence of free will. And that as we know surpasses everything as far as priorities go. I can be loyal to something that i choose. Brands, F1 teams, friends, colas .... just about anything. But you think I'm being frivolous. I don't mention places at the risk of sounding scandalous or maybe being labeled a traitor or some such foolish thing. But yes, i admit i

could be loyal to a place if i chose it. Freedom of choice is very important to me. And the emphasis here is on freedom. I don't actually hate or abhor the things thrust on me. Allow me to elucidate. I support South Africa and New Zealand in cricket. Because i chose them as teams that i like. And thats why you will find me rooting for them. But i could support India against other countries it played barring the aforementioned two. But just the fact that people automatically assume that i should support it, and the fact that people chide me and give me a hard time for not making it my numero uno favorite, I find immense joy and pleasure in supporting any which nation that it plays against.

So then, jingoism, thats the term for what passes for patriotism these days. Its an era of globalization. The playing field of the world is being flattened (ok, so now im shamelessly quoting Thomas Friedman's The World is Flat) and as such we must recognize who has the best of what instead of shamelessly and falsely claiming that we are the best. We get to pick the best ingredients and make a heady cocktail (figuratively speaking, of course). So then, back to the matter of choice. Here we go around shouting and clamoring for freedom and yet when we do have the freedom we chose to ignore it. Why, in many cases its the fear of being labeled a traitor. Peer pressure guys...theres no escaping it. What is required is a paradoxical mix of recognizing the individual and the whole. I'll elaborate though i doubt ill get any more lucid as i progress. Chose any individual thing that you like and not the whole that it is a part of. You can like a player but that doesn't mean you support the whole damn team. You may like After Eight Thin Mint Chocolates from Nestle, (I for one, certainly do) but that doesn't mean that you have to like the entire Nestle range. Thats what i mean by choosing the individual. As for whole,
think of the whole world as one big family. Don't think too much of borders and divides and think of different countries as being made for administrative convenience rather than taking the borders as battle lines drawn.

Also, this is not a propaganda for selfishness whereby i ask you to choose whats convenient for you and ignore the difficult things in life. All I'm saying is don't just follow the crowd and don't submit to the pressure of having to do what every other fool around you is doing. This is the customization age. You can pick and choose what you like. You don't need to take the whole package. Select what you like. Mix and match. Rock and roll. Shout and jump. Like, yo man. Be cool Dude. Or whatever. I'm losing it.

Look out for that Power Coupling!!!!!!!!!!!




Force coupling....well its a physics term. But i use it to describe a social phenomenon. Getting dragged into a couple fight, or even a relationship...getting caught between two people is like getting between two powerful electromagnets or getting in the centre of a power coupling.

Even when they get along, rest assured you will be the one that gets screwed. Its weird how one aspect of a persons life, his love life can affect so much. Love, girls, infatuation or whatever psychosexual term u use, its after all just an aspect of ones life. A minor country in a vast, varied and diverse planet called life.

But there are people who let the feeling take over. They spend every waking moment of their life with their "significant" (overly significant if you ask me....but then no one ever asks me) other. Every step taken is taken for them. And girls are of course experts at playing delicate damsels in distress near a water fountain (read: Lacrimal Glands) with every guy so you can imagine how that act would work on someone obssessed with them. They act in this slave like manner and end up severing most of their normal relations and dynamics. The girl on the other hand - well, she carries around without a care in the world just as she was before (ive had occasion to mention this earlier). And yet, there are some steadfast loyal friends who still put up with this changed soppy guy, who still stand by him and tolerate him. THIS, IS THEIR STORY.

They think they're helping their friend, or doing a favour for their friend but more often than not, the favour, requested personally by the friend himself, often turns out for "her". Thats not all, given a choice, amongst the pecking order, you come third. And speaking of third, thats how "she" probably views you too....as the third wheel in the relation ship. It has its uses, but can be an unwanted hindrance.

So, how do you deal with this situation? Well, try as you might, you cant be straightforward and just talk it out with yourself. Just rememeber that the only one taking you into consideration will be you. Its stupid to get sacrificed for a girl. But its the most crass stupidity, imbecility and idiocy when you make sacrifices for someone else's girl.

Dance Revolution (and Rotations and Gyrations)


Dancing is one of Indias favourite pastimes and by far one of their most popular partytime activities second only to gobbling food and bitching. And just because they love it they think they are experts at it. This Indian tendency for presumption is irritating ( I PRESUME, you all have come across it at one time or the other). Like they presume that just because theyworship cricket they can alter status of cricketers from demigods to villains worthy of effigyburning and stone pelting. They will even accord godlike status to the likes of MSD (Sorry, but i cant stand the sorry, barely talented, weird english spouting sop...also i have better hair than he does) But back to the topic at hand. Dancing....... Indians are passionate about dancing. They love doing what according to them is dance. We have a history and culture suffused, permeated and saturated with dance.

But dancing today is an expression of every kind of overflowing emotion. Carried away with joy, excited or simply trying to freak out, most people find their solace in dancing. Ive been to weddings where brides have left the Mandap only to head straight to the dance floor. A good reason to hate both dance and girls.

But party dancing is an altogether different...umm....genre, if you will. And Indians have gleefully sidestepped the nuances and finer points of the art of party dancing and trampled gleefully on the dancefloor brandinshing their half knowledges about various kinds of dance garnered mostly from soppy bollywood movies. As we all know, half a knowledge is a dangerous thing...in this case the danger is mostly to your partners or neighbours feet. I have had my feet trampled on by only sitting in a far corner eating kebabs or sipping black coffee (nothing in the world would induce me to dance). I see my friends expressing joys and emotions throught dance. Some get overexited and obnoxious, irritating the persons around them. Some have a screwed up expression chanelling all their concentration into the dance, some go in for a light groove and swaying while holding conversations, while some go in for (according to them) sexy moves with vibes and thrusts. But the intent is always more evident in the faces than in the moves.

I have had some of the best laughs of my life wathcing people, especially indians trying to dance. Trying and failing miserably, But true to their obnoxiousness they are carefree and unaware of their embarassment. No party is complete without dancing. And it is always accompanied by obnoxious punjabi rap and weird hindi item numbers. The kind of songs that i cant stand are apparently all danceble. Another good reason to hate dancing. Ive seen people lose control and act stupid.

I hate losing control. But thats just me. The point here is that Indians CAN'T dance.
If youre not busy making a fool of yourself and if you observe, just observe, not even closely, you will see that indians have no idea what to do with their hands, They wave them about in all kinds of motions and gestures. Indians dancing is like Mahendra Dhoni batting (here i go with my MSD bashing again but sorry guys....i cant stand the fellow)...they just
sweep their arms about with zero footwork and hope that thatll do the trick.

Thats what happens when dance competitions indulge in drama rather than dancing...no one learns anything. So I say stick to cultural and festivity dancing and as for parties and social gatherings, I suggest you stick to food apprecitation.