To Create a Mark or Leave a Scar....

Personalizations, pissing contests, leaving and making a mark on this world. We need to feel validated.  We need to feel that we matter.  That we are affecting or effecting.  I have perhaps ranted to this effect before.  The interesting (only to me perhaps) part is how we react to that need.  At a certain stage, we stop absorbing freely.  We reach a point of selective absorption.  We stop taking things in and are obsessed more with giving our inputs to everything.  A twisted version, if you will, of Kennedy's "ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country and all that balderdash......  But its not the country in this case.  Its anything and everything that we feel matters.  And we feel we will have gained importance by association in affecting that which we feel is of some import in our world.  It is like some kind of bizzaro world, where, while having the decent notion that you can only take pride in a creation if you had some role to play in it, you take it to an absurd level of extreme.  A level where you need to feel that pride, so you feel the need to play some, small, demented role in the process.  A mutation in the process of your own doing, that deludes you into believing that you have affected a change - for the better. 


  Ego, then, becomes the only fuel needed.  The delusion of dangerous, unchecked optimism becomes a catalyst to this process at times.  A convenient loop hole is of course found before this ritualistic act of mark making is commenced.  A loophole where credit for success can come seeping through and yet the barrage and deluge of failure is filtered out.  How convenient.  The twisted version of modern capitalism blended with the Frankeinstein's version of Socialism.  Create (whatever that may be) and be part of the collective so that you can never be singled out (except of course, when you want to be).